The self help industry is a strange modern phenomenon. If you go into any bookshop you will find row after row of self help books dealing with every aspect of life. Self help books for all ages including kids (which strikes me as going a little bit too far!) and for all the problems you can possibly think of. Self help for divorced men however is not overly well represented on these shelves just as the issue of men after divorce is not terribly well represented.
Before I get into that though, just what is it about this whole industry of self help that has captured the interest of the western world at least? Why the sudden boom over the last few decades? Are we all on a self improvement kick to explore our true potential, or are we just addicted to gurus who preach common sense which we take as drops of golden wisdom?
Now, I am the author of a book that gives self help for divorced men so I am a part of this industry whether I like it or not. I wanted to make it clear where I stand as I discuss these things so I do not seem hypocritical or nonsensical. However, I am fascinated by good and bad self help, and there is a LOT of bad self help out there – but also some very good publications as well. The problem is that it is a mess of too much choice and too much information. This can be confusing, but still alluring to those desperate for an answer to their troubles.
After looking into many self help books I have realised that nearly all of them CAN be used to help you through your struggles, but the statistics show that 80% of self help book buyers are repeat customers who find they continue to buy more and more, but never seem to get the right results. Why? This seems counter intuitive right?
Some have speculated that this is because the readers looking for answers are more interested in looking for an answer, rather than applying the methods needed to get the results. Other say that repeat customers blame themselves when they fail and get the next book to try again. I do not want to comment too much on these things without doing research except to say that I have found that some self help books and courses have been very good for me which inspired me to write my eBook on self help for divorced men.
So what’s the point of this post? The main thing I wanted to say is that self help is only as good as you apply it with diligence. Too many skim read, think they get a greater understanding but do not apply the wisdom within and end up feeling bad about the whole experience, or thinking they are wiser without any real proof of this fact. If you just read a few books on self improvement but take the teachings to heart you will be much more effective in your life than if you buy a hundred that you only half think about properly. Application is the really hard bit – it is easy to read words on a page and nod along.
If you think about it, this is the real basis of “self” help – you are helping yourself. The knowledge you get from others is only the catalyst for your own self improvement. With this in mind I want to say to all men after divorce looking for help that there is a lot of good stuff out there, but you have to actually put some real effort into making significant changes in your life based on the knowledge you gain from whatever source.
While I obviously want to promote my own eBook, there are many great motivational and self improvement publications out there. A few other of my favourites are: