Discovering how to move on after divorce for men can be a long and arduous process. One of the biggest problems is the turbulent state of your mind and emotions. This shifting landscape of your mind makes it difficult to really understand the truth of the situations you are in and makes it difficult to move forward because your future and direction seem to be moving all over the place.
I remember at one stage after my divorce I changed my mind four times about going on a trip to clear my head. I even went as far as booking plane tickets then cancelling them and for the life of me, I could never quite work out who I wanted to go and why i did not! This is just a minor example, but some guys have massive problems in choosing a direction or understanding themselves because a single trigger can cloud your mind with anger, depression, anxiety, and other emotions that will change your mental state.
One thing that helped me when I was dealing with this volatile situation was using a pen.
That’s right, a pen. It was not even a fancy pen! It was a regular black biro with the lid missing and one end chewed from nervous fits when I was working out legalities of the divorce. The same pen that signed the divorce papers in fact helped me to move on from the divorce as well.
Ok, this was not some magic pen, the power of it is in the written word. You see, the written word does not change when you put it on paper. Your interpretation of it can change, but a well constructed letter can have usually a single meaning that will NOT shift and change like an upset mind.
So I offer this advice for guys finding it difficult to focus, understand themselves, understand the divorce, and of course move on from it – Write stuff down!
Some things to write when you are in a good frame of mind are:
- Your plans for the immediate future
- Your plans for the long term
- Your emotions and frustrations
- A letter to your ex wife (to be burned symbolically not sent!)
- A letter to yourself to read again when you are feeling low
- A budget! (this is more important for your mental health than you think …)
- And more …
Harness the power of the pen guys! I talk more about how to use the written word to help you move on after divorce in my Men After Divorce guide as well.