Dads in Distress – Support for Divorced Fathers

For those like me living in Australia it is Fathers day! I had a great morning with the kids before I dropped them back at their mothers. It always amazes me at how happy we can be despite the troubles we had during the divorce. I remember how I thought I had failed as a father and how they would hate me even though their mother initiated the divorce.

The lack of support at the time was what really hit home to me. Women had all sorts of places, support lines, organisations, and even just friends more open to help. Guys have very little and their friends while in many cases helpful are not emotionally equipped to really give the support needed.

In a sad case, I had a friend who nearly broke up with his wife because she didn’t want him talking with me because she thought I was some terrible man who deserved to be divorced. He ignored her and gave me a lot of physical help moving and so forth for which I thank him greatly. It does show just how deep the lack of support can bite for men even socially.

Children though is where it is hardest. Support for fathers is in even shorter supply perhaps because society does not VALUE fathers enough in my opinion. Or at least they think that divorced fathers are not worth the effort which is a sad statement which saddens and infuriates me … which is why I found an interesting article for a new group on the Central coast of New South Wales in Australia called Dads in Distress.

I found it through a local news article ( http://express-advocate-gosford.whereilive.com.au/news/story/dads-in-distress-help-group-born ) and it sounds like a great idea. Helping fathers recover form divorce to help themselves and their children. I hope there are more and more of these sorts of groups around the world because it is sorely needed.

There are more men’s groups popping up here and there and I want you to know this is you are struggling because it is wroth seeking them out. If you need any further help of course please get a copy of my Men After Divorce guide which I keep getting positive feedback on so I hope it can help you too.

Divorce, Men & Self Esteem

low self esteemI just wanted to open up this blog with a discussion about self esteem for men going through divorce, and also living life after it. Firstly what do we mean by self esteem really? It is a phrase you hear quite a lot but the concept is often poorly understood at a deeper level. Divorced men in particular should know how self esteem affects their lives because it can hit a record low and not get much beyond there for a while.

Self esteem is your opinion of yourself at a surface level. It is how you feel about yourself as a person, as a father, as a partner, as a man in general. Being divorced placed a massive negative image on all of those things. It can even creep into your career making you feel you never earned enough, or on the opposite end that you worked too much and didn’t spend enough time. In the mind of a divorced man who is already feeling that he was not good enough somehow, so many more links can be found even if they are totally wrong!

This is the thing that guys need to realise after a divorce, that the low self esteem comes from within, it is not caused by outside events, but only your perception of them.

For example, a friend of mine Robert went through a divorce where he basically lost his kids to his ex wife. Rob was a good dad, he was not perfect but he was a good and attentive guy to his kids and his marriage. Of course, no one told him that directly and it wouldn’t have made any difference in his mind because his divorce and loss of his kids made him feel like a bad father. He didn’t not realise how much of his self image was tied into his view of being a good parent. From this a landslide of negativity followed. He felt his job was pointless, he felt no women would want him because he was a bad father. From this he felt unattractive and depressed and didn’t have any goals for some time.

As you can see, he was exactly the same man he was before, but the mind turned everything to shit and his self esteem plummeted. He allowed this to happen in a way because his own sense of self worth was directly targeted. The problem is his sense of self worth seemed to be dictated by circumstance and other people’s opinions and not by your own inner core beliefs.

This knowledge is part of the healing process that you must go through as a man after divorce. The next part is knowing how to fix it!

My guide on Men after Divorce explains this in more detail but knowing is half the battle as the saying goes so I hope that might help some guys :)

Men After Divorce E-Book Now Available

My e-book is now available to purchase from the men after divorce main page!

I would like to thank everyone who helped me put this together, gave me inspiration, and gave me helpful criticism.

My kids.
My father.
My sister in law (thanks for the edit!).
The army of guys who reviewed my earlier draft and gave me fantastic feedback!
And of course my ex-wife who I wish all the best.

If you are struggling with post-divorce life and have found your way here, I hope this e-book will be very helpful to you as it seems to have been for the other recently divorced guys whose testimonials little the front page.

I will continue to update this blog with helpful tips, interesting news pieces, and other related posts with men in mind. In the mean time, I wish everyone the best in life!

Regards,
Kyle Morrison

Men After Divorce is Live!

Welcome to my blog at men after divorce!

I sure am glad I got my own website for this so I can continue to blog about mens issues cenetred around divorce, relationships and life  in general.

For any women readnig this, sorry it might be a bit heavy in guy talk but feel free to read and comment as well!

I am still waiting for the guys who will be handlign all the transactiopns for my ebook to approve it though, so if you came from the main page and want to purchase my book … go to the contact page and email me. I will let you know as soon as it is released.

Regards,
Kyle Morrison